Today, I went for a run and pushed my body beyond what it was wanting to do for me. I completely exhausted myself and all its ability to keep me moving. And in the brief tunnel of exhaustion I was walking in, it felt as though time stood still for a moment.
When I run it's like every single one of my thoughts gets silenced. I zero in on my body, what it's telling me, asking me, and I can hear, see, and taste better too. But in this tunnel of exhaustion it's like I surpassed myself and was caught in this moment of time where I could feel absolutely everything around me. I could feel the earth and was aware of its enormity. I could feel the wind slow down and brush the tall grass bush against my arm as I stood still in awe. I felt aware of every moving creature from the smallest bug still scurrying around in this crazy warm weather. The trees blowing added texture to the slowness around me but it felt as though in this brief moment of time it all slowed down to a complete stop and almost felt dream like.
When time felt like it stood still for that second, I felt completely unplugged. I felt completely separated from the human life and experience we are all living so uniquely and could feel the commotion and scattering around of all the busy bees in the middle of the suburbs on a Friday afternoon. It felt as though I became an outsider looking in on this moment and witnessing what it must be like to feel humanity in its rawest form. And it made me realize how incredibly hard it is to experience such a feeling as an adult living in the 21st century.
The older I get, the noiser life gets. And the harder it is to truly connect with the world and life happening all around me. But today, after traveling down this tunnel of exhaustion, I was there. Back in a place I used to find myself in all the time. Back in a place where I felt everything.. but nothing at the same time. I felt connected, but in the most disconnected way. Back in a place where time stood still, just for a brief moment, and allowed me to be everything and nothing at the same time with no pressure to be anything but exactly what I was. And in that moment I had total freedom with a heart filled with an abundance of serenity.