“The ego is as you think of yourself. You in relation to all the
commitments of your life, as you understand them. The self
is the whole range of possibilities that you've never even
thought of. And you're stuck with your past when you're
stuck with the ego. Because if all you know about yourself
is what you found out about yourself, well, that already
happened. The self is a whole field of potentialities to
― Joseph Campbell, The Hero's Journey
It’s hard to believe I’m here. At the end of the road of what’s been the most intrusive dissection of my inner character.
I started my 52 weeks project the week of June 1, 2017. It is now May 29, 2018. This time last year I had just come out of my PPD [see me open up about it here] and I was trying to observe myself as much as I could to rediscover who I was again beneath it all.
But furthermore, I was looking for new self definition of character, clarity, and to get to know myself again after that huge growth period when I started this project. Because really, I didn’t know who I was anymore within motherhood.
So with that in mind, my goal each week with this project was to step outside myself and carefully observe myself in what was happening, what had changed, and what hadn’t. And I think this project not only reflects exactly what I am at this stage of my life, but it also ended up documenting this past year in such a unique way that I’ll always look back on it in a way I never will on anything else.
But to be honest, sticking through to the end of this hasn't been easy for me. There were weeks I was soooooo excited about the concepts I had planned that I couldn't wait to get the chance to finally shoot them and then share them. But then there were other weeks where I hated what I made and wanted to hide in a hobbit hole for the rest of my days.
So, despite the roller coaster ride this entire project inevitably ended up being, it has not only given me much needed creative outlets each week, but one that truly hit my original goal of helping me redefine myself and give myself a new light in the dark to follow within myself. But also, through this entire process, I feel like I can make room for the new now to build toward being the best version of myself that I ever could be.
If you’re wondering where the title ‘The Hero’s Journey’ came from, I’ll tell you a little story.
A man named Joseph Campbell - who is quoted above - spent his lifetime studying the origins of mythology across all cultures and made distinct comparisons between all the stories to showcase a sort of outline that almost all stories seem to follow.
He has so many novels outlining this genuine and ancient way of storytelling. But to sum it up he says that every story within mythology all follows the progression of a story’s hero with a Call to Adventure, the refusal of the call, the acceptance, the challenges and temptations along the way, a transformation, atonement, and then the coming back after it all to complete a full circle of what he dubbed ‘The Hero’s Journey’.
So, in a way, this 52 weeks has been my own Hero’s Journey. My story of adventure [see my first post], refusal, the challenges, and transformation from my old self, to my new, and everything else inbetween that a year of life can bring. And looking back through all of this, I really couldn't be happier with it all.
Side note, today is my last day in England. And across the span of this project I was lucky enough to not only visit here, but also Vegas, Banff, and Chicago. And this little magical field during an amazing English sunset is an amazing way to wrap it altogether.
This little field was just minutes away from where we are staying and as we've been running around familying, driving past this field more than a dozen times, I've been day dreaming about what I could create here when the time was just right. And although I barely squeezed it in between mom duties and everything else, running to this field just before the sun set was worth the struggle.
Enjoy an editing timelapse above to one of my favorite soundtracks - the West World theme song. And of course some behind the scenes below. Because this little night was just perfect amongst the chaos.
It's so weird to think that this is my last post I'll ever do for this project. That I feel a huge sense of relief for it, but also kind of weird to know I won't have to think about it anymore. It's been an exercise to not only shoot something new each week, but to write about it and piece it altogether as well just like this post. So, if you have some time you want to kill, feel free to explore the rest of this project anytime you wish. Link to the entire thing below.